Friday, July 18

Because There's Nothing Manlier Than Anal Bleeding.

This Gore's For You.

(NOTE: I got home late last night, so I didn't have enough time to put up the photo tour of the all-new CDP Headquarters. Therefore, it shall run on Monday. Until then, please enjoy this flashback post from July of 2007, and to a lesser extent, your weekend. The Dark Knight poster giveaway will run until Tuesday night, so get keep those entries coming. You can submit your taglines in this comments section, as we received a brain-melting 215 comments in the previous one (a new CDP record); in just two short days, no less. If you need me, I'll be in line to see The Dark Knight. Cheers, friends.)

'I Can See Your...Nevermind.'
Originally Posted July 20, 2007.


I love the Running Of The Bulls. Sure, it's inhumane, humiliating and completely out-of-touch with modern reality, but it's all worth it for the inevitable goring that takes place each and every year. In some circumstances (like the one pictured above), the bull gets lucky and snags two people at the same time. On rare occasions, he'll even manage to hook up an American guy.

And, in the rarest occasion of all (as pictured below), he'll gore two American guys at the same time, straight up the butthole. Sometimes, even tearing their pants off in the process. Hoo-boy!

I Can See Your Butthole.

This, my friends, is the greatest thing that can ever happen in the life of a bull. No matter what, the bull knows that he's about to suffer an exceedingly cruel fate at the hands of a fruity dance-school dropout; the best thing he can do is destroy a few anuses on his way out. In a delightfully ironic twist of fate, the men attempting to appear macho and manly end up crying in a back alley, bleeding profusely from the asshole. It's one of the main reasons I still believe in God.

So, here's to you, Guy Who Runs With The Bulls! You wanted to prove something to yourself and any potential mates that might have been watching, but all you really proved was that you fail at life.

Fail.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; never stop messing with bulls, guys. Ever. Be a man; let your prolapsed rectum spill free into the streets of Pamplona.

Have a great weekend, and sound off in the comments section.

MONDAY: CDP Headquarters - The Photo Tour.
WEDNESDAY: The Dark Knight Poster Giveaway Winners Are Revealed.

Wednesday, July 16

The CDP Dark Knight Giveaway!

Photobucket

This Friday, Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight will finally premiere to a worldwide audience.

I've been waiting all year for this (and a good chunk of last year as well), and my IMAX tickets are secured as we speak. Nolan is my favorite current director, and arguably one of the greatest living directors on the planet. This film has all the makings to be the greatest superhero film of all-time, shatter records posted by the abysmal Spider-Man franchise, and even snag Heath Ledger a posthumous Oscar nod. Not too bad for a Batman franchise that was all but dead in the water about a decade ago. I cannot recall the last time I've been so hyped for a film, and the universal acclaim for this picture has all but increased my desire for Friday to arrive. It almost feels like Christmas to me.

Now, thanks to CDP Network alumni (and Warner Brothers employee), Reese, I've been hooked up with an armload of Dark Knight theatrical posters to give away to CDP readers (so remember to shoot her a thank you if you're one of the chosen winners).

The posters are theatrical-size; 27 by 40 inches with the reverse image printed on the back. They are in perfect condition and will be shipped out as delicately as if I were shipping a fetus cross-country. How you wind up receiving one of these beauties is another story altogether.

Photobucket

The contest to win a poster of your choosing (any of the four options displayed in this post) is really quite simple. All you have to do is come up with a new Tagline for the CDP.

For four-and-a-half years now, the official slogan of the CDP (as displayed in the copyright area in the sidebar) has been 'Jumping The Shark Since 2004.' I feel as if this slogan has run its course, and the time for something new is now. I'm asking the CDP faithful to come up with a new piece of history, and for it you will be handsomely rewarded.

Be creative, be funny, be in tune with the spirit of the page. Anything goes.

Photobucket

You may submit as many new taglines as you want, either via the Comments section or through my e-mail address at communistdance@yahoo.com. The contest begins today and will run through to Tuesday, July 22. The winners will be announced on Wednesday the 23rd.

First Prize will receive two (2) Dark Knight theatrical posters, and places second through fifth will each receive one (1). Shipping is on me. Simple as that. Five people will win!

Photobucket

So, get to it. Create the next new tagline for the Communist Dance Party, and score yourself some awesome Dark Knight swag in the process. You really can't go wrong. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Tuesday, July 15

CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party (Part 4).

Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party.

Finally, after two weeks of sifting, listening, drinking, typing and deciphering handwritten track listings, I've managed to make it through all of the Mix-Tapes that were so generously sent to me for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Exchange #3. Thank you very much; I appreciate it.

I wanted to take a brief moment to spotlight the mixes that were sent to me, as a small way of saying thank you. Therefore, for the last week, I've been doing just that. If you want to start from the beginning, you can check out Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 right here. Please enjoy.

Mix#16 - “Back To The 80’s” - by The CDP.

The Skinny: Some of my favorite 80's songs covered by modern punk, ska, electronic and emo bands. Nothing life-changing here; just a good time.

The Highlights
: Polysics complete dissection of The Knack's 'My Sharona,' Saves The Day tackling the Descendents 'Cheer,' Reel Big Fish tearing through 'Take On Me,' and the Dance Hall Crashers live version of Tom Petty's 'American Girl.'

By The Way
: My mix has not been delivered to its recipient yet. She was supposed to show up at Headquarters about a month ago, but schedules have been conflicting. I'll see her on Friday, however, when we're camping out in line for The Dark Knight premiere.

Additional Notes
: I included a bonus EP featuring non-80's covers of songs like 'My Generation,' 'Hey Jealousy' and 'I Will Survive.' If I were ranking it against the 18 other mixes I've had the pleasure to review, I'd place it about #9.

Mix #17 - “The Missus Cover Mix” - by The Missus.

The Skinny: Some of the Missus' favorite bands covering a slew of tracks that I have, for the most part, never heard of.

The Highlights
: Zoinks! handling the theme song to 'Greatest American Hero,' Carter Peace Mission covering the Dead Milkmen's 'The Thing That Only Eats Hippies,' and Japanese group Water Closet performing one of my favorite covers of all-time in the ALL classic, 'Can't Say.'

By The Way
: Zoinks! Stranger Anxiety album is quite possibly one of the greatest pop-punk albums ever recorded. It's worth a listen on iTunes if you're a fan of mid 90's catchy goodness with halfway-decent lyrics.

Additional Notes
: I didn't listen to a second of the Missus' mix for this review. That's what happens when you've been a couple for almost nine years. We've got it down to 98% non-verbal communication at this point.

Mix #18 - “Pin-Ups” - by Kate Carillo.

The Skinny: I remember Kate's last mix having a great theme and an overall sweeping mood of emotion, and this one is no different. From one track to the next, she managed to take a bunch of seemingly random cover songs and organize them into a journey of sorts, and I think she did a bang-up job of it.

The Highlights
: Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright absolutely tearing up a live version of Wham's 'Careless Whisper,' Johnny Cash taking on 'The Mercy Seat,' freaking Rockapella (remember Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?) doing a cover of 'Sixteen Tons,' and Biffy Clyro doing a disjointed and manic send-up of Weezer's 'Buddy Holly.' Any songs that I didn't mention were equal parts trippy, sexy and more-or-less awesome.

By The Way
: Kate typically has the funniest liner notes of anyone that sends me Mix-Tapes. She should write more funny stuff online.

Additional Notes
: Dave Grohl's cover of 'Tiny Dancer' showed up on no less than three different mixes, making it one of the most popular covers of the entire Mix-Tape Trade. No arguments here, as I hadn't heard it before this point, and it's changed my life for the better.

Mix #19 - “Cover Me This, Cover Me That” - by Smedley.

The Skinny: There's absolutely nothing skinny about this mix. Smedley sent me a 6-disk monolith of sound that's heavy in the 60's and 70's, but pretty much encapsulates an entire historic section of classic bands covering classic songs by other classic bands. I feel like I should have spent $99 ordering this collection from Time/Life at three in the morning.

The Highlights
: I'll be completely honest with you. I received this collection two days ago, and there was absolutely no way I was going to get through it in time to write a decent review. All I can do is hope that Smedley shows up on here and explains it for himself, because I don't think I'll be doing it justice. It's going to take me two weeks to sift through all this music.

By The Way
: Some people send me a handwritten track listing with descriptive notes. Smedley sent me a six-tab Excel spreadsheet. He seriously gave me about 140 songs that I didn't have for absolutely free, and I'm still a little stunned about the whole thing. I almost feel like I owe the man money. He truly went above and beyond, and his ego-free knowledge of music history rivals mine times about a hundred, and I even went to school for music history.

Additional Notes
: Damn.

Thanks for reading; sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

TOMORROW: HOW YOU CAN WIN AN OFFICIAL THEATRICAL POSTER FROM THE DARK KNIGHT!

Monday, July 14

CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party (Part 3).

Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party.

Finally, after two weeks of sifting, listening, drinking, typing and deciphering handwritten track listings, I've managed to make it through all of the Mix-Tapes that were so generously sent to me for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Exchange #3. Thank you very much; I appreciate it.

I wanted to take a brief moment to spotlight the mixes that were sent to me, as a small way of saying thank you. Therefore, for the next couple days, I'll be doing just that. If you want to start from the beginning, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 right here. Please enjoy.

Mix #11 - “Cover Me In Covers” - by Fiona.

The Skinny: Top-to-bottom awesome. From modern punk, to glam, to metal, to acoustic, to showtunes, to bands that don't even really exist, Fiona's mix never ceased to surprise while constantly bringing the goods. Great job.

The Highlights
: A beautiful cover of Yo La Tengo's 'My Little Corner Of The World' that respectfully sounds like it was recorded about 80 years ago, Joey Ramone belting out 'What A Wonderful World;' a track that I like to play whenever I feel like killing myself, a token (and extremely sexy) take on The Cure's 'Just Like Heaven,' Scissor Sisters tearing up Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb,' and the Spinal Tap-goes Folk trio known as The Folksmen pulling out the banjo for 'Start Me Up.'

By The Way
: Speaking of A Mighty Wind, before I began shooting my 2004 mockmentary titled 72 Hours, I showed the film to my cast for inspiration. It didn't help, and the project was permanently shelved weeks later. I'll sell the rights for a flat fee of $60,000. E-mail me.

Additional Notes
: Much like Heather's mix (see below), the layout and packaging was top-notch. She sent me a handwritten postcard from her San Francisco homestead, a photograph and a nicely laid-out jewel case. And for the record, I never tire of receiving photos of cute CDP fans. JT, I'm looking in your general direction...

Mix #12 - “Covers” - by Heather.

The Skinny: Another eclectic mix, another batch of complete winners from Heather. Every time I do a Mix-Tape Trade, I'm always amazed at how similar my musical tastes are to others, and yet, I'm always completely blown away by the new things that they introduce to. I love doing this for that reason alone.

The Highlights
: The classic 10,000 Maniacs cover of 'Because The Night' by Patti Smith, an absolutely out-of-nowhere cover of 'Chick Habit' by April March that pogo'd my socks off (I secretly love that kind of music; Pizzicato Five is pretty much the soundtrack to CDP Headquarters), the Save Ferris ska cover of 'Come On Eileen' that I considered the Greatest Cover Song I'd Ever Heard from 1997 to 2001, the make out-tastic Nada Surf take on OMD's 'If You Leave,' and the Dashboard Confessional sing-along goodness of 'Screaming Infidelities' by Joanna Pacitti.

By The Way
: Man, that Bangles cover of 'Hazy Shade Of Winter' really is badass.

Additional Notes
: Without question, Heather sent me the most beautifully laid-out Mix Tape for the second time in a row. Complete with a lovely, handwritten postcard, an incredible track listing booklet and even a photograph or two, I was stunned and moist-panted when I opened up the package. She actually has inspired me to be more proactive about mailing things back to fans that are so creative in their packages. I need to go stock up on postcards and glitter immediately.

Mix #13 - “Under The Covers” - by Emily Mills.

The Skinny
: Funny, sexy, nerdy, deep, intellectual and talented. These qualities not only describe a certain Miss Emily Mills, but they also perfectly describe her humbling Mix-Tape.

The Highlights
: A rousing opener by the Ditty Bops, Tori Amos taking on 'Smells Like Teen Spirit,' and for the first time, allowing me to enjoy the song, Jose Gonzales' haunting The Knife cover of 'Heartbeats,' Minor Threat tearing through 'Steppin' Stone,' and Emily's old middle school band punking up the Sherry Lewis sing-along, 'The Song That Never Ends.' Her middle school band sounded better than my high school band, which upsets me to the point of drinking.

By The Way
: Women are super-complicated and I will never fully understand them for as long as I walk this Earth. Emily's mix reminded me of that indisputable fact.

Additional Notes
: I'm a big fan of Emily's handwriting. A lot of people seem to admire my descriptive-yet-robotic style, but Ms. Mills might have me beat in this category. Kudos.

Mix #14 - “One Hour Under The Covers” - by Cargirl.

The Skinny: I always look forward to Cargirl's mix-tapes. She always does a good job of turning me onto what 'the kids' are listening to, as well as mining the influences that inspired the bands in the first place. This one is no different, with superstars and unknowns rubbing elbows while covering timeless tracks. Damn, this Mix Trade was a good idea, wasn't it?

The Highlights
: The Juno'y Sonic Youth cover of the Carpenters 'Superstar,' Quietdrive's take on 'Time After Time' that I actually put on my own mix, Jonathan Coulton's 'Baby Got Back' cover that reminds me that Mr. Coulton is a genius ('Shop Vac' is my favorite), and a string quartet cover of Arcade Fire's 'Rebellion' that would have put me in tears were I not such an emotionally sound person. Screw it; it made me all misty. Oh, and T.V. Carpio's cover of 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' that once again makes the argument that the Beatles tune could very well be the greatest pop song of all-time.

By The Way
: I didn't realize that Cargirl was such a big Ataris fan. Not only did I used to be in a cover band that could play about a dozen of their songs ('San Dimas' was my favorite to destroy on the drum kit), but I remember seeing them at a concert in Green Bay that was attended by no more than twenty people. It was a darn good time.

Additional Notes
: The track listing for Cargirl's mix was written longhand on stationary from the Washington D.C. Hilton, where she happened to be staying at the time. I found that intriguing for whatever reason. I like the way pens feel on hotel stationary; I sometimes jot things down for no reason when I stay there.

Mix #15 - “Cover Song Mix-Tape” - by E-Rich.

The Skinny: Singer/songwriters taking on timeless standards and solid pop hits; this mix brings all killer and no filler.

The Highlights
: Ram Jam's cover of 'Black Betty' that I've always enjoyed more than I've led people to believe, Cake's amazing version of 'I Will Survive' (one of my personal favorite covers), Damien Rice's haunting acoustic cover of Radiohead's 'Creep,' Ray LaMontagne's take on Gnarls Barkley's 'Crazy,' and the Lemonheads bringing the house down with 'Mrs. Robinson.'

By The Way
: The Rufus Wainwright cover of 'Hallelujah' is on par with Jeff Buckley's, hands down.

Additional Notes
: Blank jewel case, straight to-the-point track list, great musical tastes, no screwing around. I like the way that E-Rich does business; he has nothing to prove.

Thanks for reading; sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

TOMORROW: The CDP Mix-Tape Trade 3 Wrap Party comes to a close, as I review my own mix, along with mixes by the Missus, Kate and a six-disc behemoth by Smedley.

LATER: The very first photo tour of the All-New CDP World Headquarters!